for where we are is hell

so tonight I was going to be at a Lady GaGa concert, you may recall me posting in bold blinky text the day I got up early and waited by my computer to get the (rather expensive) tickets. a little less than 48 hours ago, I bent over in the dark to pet my cat and hit the side of my head very hard against the corner of a wall. AND THEN THERE WAS CONCUSSION. very mild concussion, no blacking out or dialated pupils or internal bleeding or anything that will cause long term effects, but it turns out that even very mild brain trauma, when combined with ther other problems I've been having this week, is still enough to make it completely impossible for me to leave the house, let alone leave the house for an intensely loud colourful concert.

so I feel a bit bad because I am MISSING LADY GAGA BECAUSE I TRIED TO PET MY CAT but mostly I feel bad for ruining plans with Ad (HI AD NO I WILL NEVER FEEL NOT GUILTY) and wasting money. and I have this distant, abstract understanding that this is not actually my fault so I shouldn't feel responsible but I do anyway. also I feel weird. GUYS, here is my advice: never get your brain shaken up. I have like, a tiny tiny bruise if anything and that's been enough to give me wooziness and sleep problems and even more moods than usual. it's strange, I do not get injured a lot, I am not used to this idea of feeling crappy until things heal, haha.

I read all these stories that are like, "My dog headbutted me and now I have no job and I hate my children", and it kind of makes me wonder why we don't all wear helmets ALL THE TIME.

anyway so there's an update on the annoying stupidity in my life.

if you feel like vomiting today perhaps you should read this article or maybe this one and learn about this Cornell surgeon condoning and performing genital mutilation on girls whose bodies are considered unacceptable in our society's gender binary. because today, cutting off part of a girl's clitoris for no health-related reason is not actually the most disgusting part of this. today we get to learn about his follow-up examinations:

"At annual visits after the surgery, while a parent watches, Poppas touches the daughter’s surgically shortened clitoris with a cotton-tip applicator and/or with a “vibratory device,” and the girl is asked to report to Poppas how strongly she feels him touching her clitoris. Using the vibrator, he also touches her on her inner thigh, her labia minora, and the introitus of her vagina, asking her to report, on a scale of 0 (no sensation) to 5 (maximum), how strongly she feels the touch. Yang, Felsen, and Poppas also report a “capillary perfusion testing,” which means a physician or nurse pushes a finger nail on the girl’s clitoris to see if the blood goes away and comes back, a sign of healthy tissue. Poppas has indicated in this article and elsewhere that ideally he seeks to conduct annual exams with these girls. He intends to chart the development of their sexual sensation over time."

are you

fucking

kidding

me.

my first shocked thought while reading this was that if Japan made an animated porn like this (and they would), it would be banned in the US and the people caught importing it would get in some serious shit. because that has happened. but apparently that doesn't stop this from happening.

seem to recall there is a song about the circumstances under which we allow crimes like this. a song I listen to at least five times on any given day in an attempt to maintain the little emotional stability I have.

right.

so apparently one of our new neighbours likes to play the drums

at night

by my window.

there's a police standoff in progress in our neighbourhood, only it is not our neighbourhood anymore because we (that is, the movers) just moved most of our stuff. THANKFULLY.

when we pulled up to the new house there was a possum in the neighbour's yard. never actually seen a live possum before. turns out: they're just as ugly as everyone makes them out to be.

I am tired and hungry. but I get an art room with cupboards and a sink! awesoooome.

so today I had cramps so bad that I started screaming and passed out. then I came to, threw up, and have been crying on the bathroom floor since.

can someone remove this pathetic excuse for a reproductive organ from my body? considering I have no desire to use it ever this is rather more than I think I should have to put up with.

edit: okay it just suddenly mostly stopped hurting. I was a bit too busy writhing and weeping to pay close attention to where the pain was but I think this could have possibly been my old friend the OVARIAN CYST. which is also not a good sign.

edit again: also HAPPY BIRTHDAY cupofearlgrey WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY UTERUS. yeah this was the worst birthday wishes post ever. oops.

DAY NINE: a song by your favourite artist

Imogen Heap wins as my favourite by being so unbelievably fun and friendly and always interacting with her fans as much as possible. also she doesn't seem to think that performing in Canada is "hard to justify financially". :P she needs to come back to Toronto sometime though, ffffff.

anyway so here is a song about the moment your life as you know it crumbles around you.

...

check out A Matter of Taste by Fulvio Bonavia (also Scent of Flower which is a similar concept)



I want it, and also I want to eat it.

EDIT: I love the internet

the neighbour's shed that is about two metres from our house started on fire! three minutes later I registered the sudden disgusting smell as smoke (first thought: iMac is melting, second thought: these pants really need a wash) and went to the back window to be met with FIRE. I woke my mom up after I convinced myself that it probably wasn't an intentional fire and I should probably do something and by the time we were done discussing whether or not we should call for help because maybe someone already called for help?? the firetrucks had already arrived. we are the best in an emergency, don't deny it.

I am a human being with a camera phone so I got a picture:



this was just the beginning; the whole shed was up in flames within a couple minutes but by that point I had run away from the window because fire and people in gas masks are two of my least favourite things.

irrational gas mask fear aside, you know what I am grateful for? firefighters! it is pretty great that there are people willing to drive out in the middle of the night and throw themselves into a burning building. fuck yeah, firefighters.

anyway so the neighbour's shed is a wreck, our entire house smells like smoke (and it will be difficult to air out since this dump has NO FUNCTIONAL WINDOWS IS THAT EVEN LEGAL I am so glad we're moving soon), there are a bunch of men hanging around yelling important things at each other and my plans to sleep tonight have been ruined. like I said I really do not like fire particularly when it is BIG and CLOSE so I'm feeling nervous and uncomfortable even though it was dealt with quickly. fffff.

I think actifed is justified tonight, especially since the smoke has made my throat sore and my eyes tweak out. :|a

DAY FIVE: a song that reminds you of somewhere

this song

reminds me of this place



the parking lot entrance of old South Grenville. this is where I would sit to wait for someone to come get me when I couldn't make it through the day which by the end of the first semester of grade 12 was almost every day so I just gave up going at all. anyway I listened to this song a lot to cheer up/calm down. Milla Jovovich is a pretty talented lady.

I was a bit confused for a moment over all the articles about minors not receiving life sentences that were popping up on the various activism sites I frequent--not one of them specified in which country this was happening. of course it is the US but seriously these are websites with global visitors, not everyone who reads English lives in fucking America. Canada already doesn't give life sentences to minors even for murder so I was very "wait what?" when I saw the headlines, haha.

edit: and I renewed my paid account because I cannot live without endless tags and userpics. ;;; the only thing that stopped it from going through automatically was the billing address, which has changed because WE MOVED DUH. an we're moving again in two weeks. I JUST LEARNED THIS PHONE NUMBER, DAMMIT. )':

1. there is actually a show on Food Network called "Bitchin' Kitchen"

2. there is actually a show on Food Network called "Bitchin' Kitchen"

3. there is actually a show on Food Network called "Bitchin' Kitchen"

4. there is actually a real show on my TV called "Bitchin' Kitchen"

5. please bring me a sacrifice, my killing urge is beyond control

6. also flumpitt should sue.

edit: I DO NOT CARE HOW COOL AND CANADIAN SHE IS THIS IS COMPLETELY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE. anyway I'm going to go take allergy pills and break shit and fall asleep now, hopefully as a culmination of two weeks of repressed rage so that I may reset and start over relatively rage free. and make LJ entries that make sense a little bit.

skipping the official day two of this meme as thinking about every song I've ever disliked and picking out the worst would be an exercise of pain. SCREW THE RULES etc.

DAY TWO: a song that makes you happy

is it possible to make it through this video without laughing or dancing or both? I think not.

see also: this amazing Japanese cover, because dude.

I had something else to say but I can't remember so I think it was probably pointless? here is a picture of my cat with a fauxhawk.